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Ah, yes, leave it to the fine media/creative team at the ASB Classic—the same folks who brought you Zheng Jie as Jay-Z—to come up with a ballboy piece that goes beyond the “grueling” training that the kids are “forced” to endure before making the final cut.

Video: Feliciano Makes Improbably Awesome Match Point Serve

Those pieces are all well and good, but really, doesn’t it seem a little sad when a bunch of kids are corralled into a military-style training regimen all in the name of carrying around sweaty towels and getting cursed at for not having all the balls on one side?

Well, the ASB Classic, with the help of Venus Williams and Svetlana Kuznetsova, have put an entirely new spin on the ballkid-player dynamic (see hilarious video above). No hands—ONLY TEETH. An no rules, either. Grab any ball at any time and turn it into a drool-covered fetch tool. And, as far as those towels go—go ahead and chew chew chew and have yourselves a tug-o-war if the player actually thinks he or she is getting it back.

Seriously, who needs humans when you have dogs like this? Shouldn't we run with this and take our sport in a whole new dog-friendly direction? Think of the ratings boom!!!

Brilliant stuff by the team at ASB. Hopefully these dogs will make the cut in less than two week’s time in Melbourne.

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