Tennis Player Fears

 

Serena and Venus Williams, the super-star sisters of professional tennis are afraid of things too. No, it’s not you and your new racket or that serve you’ve been working on (theirs are better), but it’s something totally irrational and something super wacky: horror movies. These sisters reportedly get scared when they watch them, which is completely surprising and all together illogical. When I watch horror movies, I sit alone, stone-faced and unwavering. Grow up, girls – you’re scared of child’s play.

 

Famously, Andre Aggasi has a fear of hair. Only kidding! Aggasi has a severe case of arachnophobia. The tennis great’s fear of spiders is one of the more common types of phobias and limits his visits to local prisons and abandoned barns. He began his racquet training early, crushing hobo spiders and punishing black widows. I guess it has served him well.

 

Andy Roddick, the supermodel-marrying tennis millionaire has something by the name of Leporiphobia, or the fear of large bunnies. Not large like radioactively mutated, but large like a stranger wearing a bunny costume. This is completely understandable and not at all weird. Strangers attempting to hide their identities pose as serious threats for personal safety and security. Consider this: a stranger wearing a full body suit of questionable fur approaches you. The creature’s eyes are glossy and resemble the color of freshly drawn blood. A damped voice bellows from within the suit, asking if you may be interested in a small piece of brand-less and unwrapped candy. As you look up from the creature’s stained and lifeless paws, you notice that the beast’s head is not only unproportionally large, but crooked. It is as though the swine’s giant head had been sawed off and sewn back on. Your hands begin sweating and your legs tremble. You attempt to run, but you have become crippled with the thought that this giant, mutant rabbit will be the last thing your eyes ever lay themselves upon. As the sky fades to black and the heavens turn to flames, you feel droplets of…is that blood?

 

Andy Roddick was so, so right. Never doubt A-Rod.