Wimbledon Conspiracy Exposed! Isner-Mahut Marathon Match Never Ended!

Wimbledon Conspiracy Exposed! Isner-Mahut Marathon Match Never Ended!
Shocking Details Revealed Below!
Media and fans were stunned when they reached Court 3 on Monday to find John Isner and Nicolas Mahut already on court, playing and sporting matching, ZZ Top-esque beards.

What onlookers first thought of as a practical joke slowly unraveled into the most shocking cover-up in the history of professional tennis when red-faced Wimbledon officials reluctantly admitted that the marathon Isner-Mahut match of 2010 had never actually ended.

"After that second day of play in 2010, we realized this might never be over," Wimbledon president D.P. Hopworth said guiltily on Tuesday morning, addressing a throng of reporters.

"We couldn't run the risk of it delaying the entire tournament, so we tried to coerce one of the two players to throw in the towel. Unfortunately, neither one of them would do it, so we resorted to drastic measures."

Hopworth revealed that the two men on Court 18 that day last summer, when Isner appeared to finally to vanquish Mahut with a 70-68 fifth-set victory, were impersonators. Meanwhile the real Isner and Mahut resumed their battle at an undisclosed location, playing eight hours before calling it a night tied at 144-144.

"It was supposed to be a temporary solution," Hopworth said. "The Isner stand-in got beaten badly by Thiemo de Bakker in the second round and we figured we had a good 10 days before either guy had to show up in person again. How were we supposed to know they would keep matching each other game for game?"

But match each other, they did. By the time Rafael Nadal defeated Tomas Berdych for the men's singles final, the real Isner and Mahut, hands badly blistered, were tied at 733 games apiece in the fifth set, but neither man would back down.

At that point, the ATP had to make a decision: Keep the illusion going or come clean? ATP President Adam Helfant, convinced the match would end at any moment, made the decision to send the faux-Mahut and faux-Isner out on tour.

"C'mon, all someone had to do was win two damn games in a row, how hard is that?" Helfant said via teleconference Tuesday morning in between sobs. "We figured the impersonators could play a tournament or two and disappear into the night, no one would be the wiser."

Impersonating a player who barely cracked the Top 100 was no problem for the faux-Mahut, who played in smaller venues like Segovia and Rennes, finishing the year with 12 wins and nine losses.

The real Mahut, who turned 29 years old on January 21, 2011, a day that saw his real match with Isner end with the fifth set tied at 2,933 games apiece, said he didn't feel he would have done much better than 12-9 the rest of the way in 2010 as it was.

The task was a bit more difficult for the faux-Isner, who had to impersonate a 6-foot, 9-inch, 245-pound athletic tennis player. The ATP used exhaustion as an excuse to keep the faux-Isner off the tour for a month while they taught him the game of tennis, which resulted in wildly inconsistent play the rest of the season.

When told on Tuesday that he had lost to an impersonator in the quarterfinals at Beijing last October, then-No. 6 ranked Nikolay Davydenko looked like he wanted to cry.

"In native Russia, Nikolay trained to crush all resistance," Davydenko, who has since dropped to No. 28 said. "To lose to this string bean, and not even true American string bean, is real disappointment. Maybe Nikolay should retire like jerk writing TennisNow blog suggests."

The Isner impersonator revelaed that he had spent the off-season "pretty much partying and telling girls, 'Hey, I'm John Isner'", which likely has led to his 10-13 record and fall to No. 50 in the world so far in 2011.
The real Isner, meanwhile, turned 26 on April 26, 2011, with his fifth set against the real Mahut tied at 6,599.

"Sure, it was fatiguing at times," the real Isner said. "There were some points where I wanted to quit, and I really missed my family. Plus, I'm not sure my girlfriend knew that that guy wasn't me ... that's a bit concerning."

Even as Wimbledon 2011 approached, ATP and Grand Slam leadership remained convined that Isner-Mahut 2010 would end before the truth was discovered. The real pair had been allowed back to Wimbledon following the tour's departure in early July 2010, and had rented a flat together in nearby London to save money since neither was pulling in tour winnings.

"It was a bit odd living with John, but it made financial sense," Mahut said. "The first few days we were trash-talking at breakfast and on the way to the stadium, but eventually we settled into a nice routine - making fondue, getting a Netflix subscription and really getting into pilates. Of course, we could never go out anywhere since we were supposed to be on tour, so we started growing the beards to give ourselves a little bit of anonymity."

So used to their routine, by the time Day 2 of Wimbledon 2011 rolled around, Isner and Mahut forgot they weren't supposed to be using the facilities at Wimbledon, and were thus exposed in the year-long falsehood when their impersonators also arrived at Court 3 to begin warming up.

"It was weird seeing another me standing there, one who hasn't eaten, breathed and slept Mahut for the past 363 days," the real Isner said. "But what the hell, I'm really down to No. 50 in the world now?"
Stay tuned to Tennis 'n' Stuff to see how the ATP resolves this stunning controversy.
 
 



What's on your mind? Post a comment below.
 
Posted by Nick on 6/21/2011 6:09:22 AM
Filed under: atp, davydenko, isner, mahut, wimbledon



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Lauren Lynch
HAHAHAHA! Wow you almost convinced me ;p
6/21/2011 10:26:14 AM
 
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