Tennis and stuff. > September 2010
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Keep their heads ringing.
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If your stocks take an unexpected dive Thursday, you can blame Ken Solomon.
The Chairman and CEO of the Tennis Channel will ring the NASDAQ opening bell Thursday morning in Times Square.
Watch the event live via webcast at 9:15 a.m. Eastern. 
Nojak Djokovic previously rang the opening bell during the 2008 US Open.
Now that the economy appears to not be swirling the drain anymore, how about investing a few dollars in a quality tennis stock?
Here’s a few that might interest you.
NIKE – Current: 71.82; 52-week Range: 53.22-78.55
Adidas – Current: 41.64; 52-week Range 30.97-45.77
K-Swiss – Current: 11.79; 52-week Range: 7.68-14.53.
Posted to Tennis and stuff. by
Nick on 9/1/2010 11:55:44 AM | with 0 comments
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Top marks for medical staff, Dulko
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A video has surfaced of Victoria Azarenka's collapse Wednesday at the US Open during the first set of her match against Gisela Dulko.
The fall occurs around the 1:01 mark of the video, but Azarenka can clearly be seen struggling to maintain her balance and composure earlier in the clip.
Much credit goes to the court medical staff, the first of whom arrives by her side about five seconds after she goes down. Also tremendous respect to Dulko, who walks across the court to check on her opponent, then actively helps the process by re-positioning an official holding an umbrella to shield Azarenka's face against the sun, and calls for a water-soaked towel to be brought over, believing her opponent was suffering from heat stroke.
Azarenka's official web site released the following statement over night.
"I want to thank everyone for your well wishes after my retirement today. I wanted to let you all know that I am doing well and feeling much better. I was warming up in the gym prior to my match against Gisela Dulko when I accidentally fell and hit my head. I tried my very best to play and finish the match however it just was not possible. I was taken to the hospital for some medical tests and I’m back at my hotel feeling better now. I would like to wish Gisela best of luck with the rest of the tournament and thank her for her concern. I would also like to thank the US Open staff and doctors who have done a wonderful job. While I am very disappointed, I really appreciate all of your support and look forward to getting back on the court very soon."
Posted to Tennis and stuff. by
Nick on 9/2/2010 9:27:04 AM | with 0 comments
NCAA champion Bradley Klahn held his own against No. 20 Sam Querrey on Wednesday at the US Open, despite taking one where the sun don’t shine.
In the second set, the Stanford junior-to-be got drilled in the groin … type … area by a full-on hit by the 6-foot, 6-inch Querrey.
"I had kind of a delayed reaction," Klahn said. "The first five seconds, I thought I was okay. Then I thought I'd better call for the trainer."
Querrey said it was an accident, and added. “ I didn't mean to hit it there. I felt bad because he's my buddy."
Wearing basically zero protection on a court where the ball is routinely hit more than 100 miles an hour means players are susceptible to the risk of being drilled.
Because it happened in a public place, it was naturally captured on video, allowing Klahn to join the ranks of such luminiaries as ...
Byron Black, Australia, 1993
This ballboy, smacked by del Potro
And of course, this bird. May he/she rest in peace.
Posted to Tennis and stuff. by
Nick on 9/2/2010 12:08:07 PM | with 2 comments
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She'll be hitting bottles off people's heads in no time!
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Progressive thinking parents are quick to point out to their daughters that girls can do anything boys can.
Fly to the moon, become neurosurgeons, hit impossible shots at major tennis tournaments usually reserved only for Roger Federer.
Good job, Mr. and Mrs. Schiavone.
On Friday, Francesca showcased her own skills with a between-the-legs shot, hitting a rifle against Alona Bondarenko.
The 2010 French Open champion, Schiavone takes on Venus Williams Tuesday in the women's quarterfinals.
Posted to Tennis and stuff. by
Nick on 9/6/2010 11:28:32 AM | with 0 comments
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Don't call my name, don't call my name. Fernando!
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Let's face it, when you're fighting for a spot in the US Open quarterfinals, you'll take a match point anyway you can get it.
Particularly when you were down 0-2 in said match.
And you've recorded 86 unforced errors.
But Fernando Verdasco has always been a man of style, and never more so than on his tie-break winner against countryman David Ferrer last night.
His previous shot absolutely handcuffed his charging opponent, but Ferrer was still able to flip it deftly over the net at an angle that should have been impossible for the weary Verdasco to close on in time.
In fact, if you watch the video more than once and key on Ferrer's body language, there's definitely a split-second there where he believes the point is his, then realizes that he needs to hustle back into position.
Would an instant reaction have allowed him to anticipate the low looper that Verdasco ended up taking the match on? We'll never know, and most probably didn't even catch the lapse, they were watching in stunned disbelief as Verdasco had to slide to a stop to avoid crashing into the official's chair. Heck, if the match had been held at Marshall University's football stadium, Verdasco would have broken his leg and now suing the crap out of the Thundering Herd, like that University of Houston wide receiver.
Posted to Tennis and stuff. by
Nick on 9/8/2010 11:24:04 AM | with 0 comments
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Eleven WTA stars among Top 35 most-searched.
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Here's a news flash for you: Good looking female tennis players get searched a ton on Google.
In a recent list of the 50 most-searched female sports personalities, 11 of them are tennis players, all ranked in the Top 35.
Some of the entries on the list are a little dubious as sports figures i.e. wrestling "divas" Trish Stratus and Stacey Kiebler make the list, but there's no doubting that the women of the WTA have played and dressed (or undressed) their way into the hearts of a whole bunch of Googlers.
Tennis players on the back end of the list include #35 Jelena Dokic, #30 Daniela Hantuchova, #29 Elena Dementieva and #28 Maria Kirilenko.
Of that quartet, Dokic should be particularly flattered. Her Google Search ranking is 47 places ahead of her actual WTA Singles mark.
Ana Ivanovic is 11th with 2.2 million searches, two spots behind Simona Halep at 2.56 million. If you can't figure out why the No. 96 ranked player in the world is in the Top 10 on Google, the photo at right might clue you in.
Venus Williams is the first tennis start to top three million searches, with 3.11 for eighth place.
No. 7 is also an odd choice for American fans at least. Sania Mirza might only be ranked 111th, but her popularity in her home country of India more than makes up for the actual playing deficiency.
At No. 6 is Anna Kournikova. I imagine a point in the future when aliens first connect to the Internet on their way to making first contact with the people of Earth, and naturally assume that Kournikova, O.J. Simpson and Paris Hilton are our world leaders based on their Internet fame.
At No. 3 is Serena Williams, who is searched with some variation of the word "booty" more than seems possible. She checks in at 4.99 million searches, two ticks behind Maria Sharapova, who despite her current Grand Slam drought has 5.65 million searches to her credit.
Posted to Tennis and stuff. by
Nick on 9/8/2010 1:17:31 PM | with 0 comments
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Even LeBron would say, dang son, Frenchy can ball!
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As I write this, Gael Monfils is on court giving No. 3 Novak Djokovic all he can handle in the quarterfinals of the US Open.
Monfils is an enigma wrapped in a riddle wrapped in a mini-fro. Pound for pound, he's arguably the most athletic player on tour, but we only see that talent in short bursts, often interrupted by long periods of injury or apathy.
In fact, the first time I wrote about Monfils, it was to question whether his potential to be good at so many things might ironically be what keeps him from becoming a top tier tennis player.
Watching Monfils dominate Richard Gasquet in the fourth round Monday was a great keyhole view into what he can be at the top of his game. So powerful and so quick for a 6-foot-4-inch man, Monfils can make the court look very, very small to an opponent.
But if it Monfils hadn't chosen tennis all those years ago. After all, his dad Rufin was a soccer player from the island of Guadeloupe. Take away the racquet and put the goalie gloves on Gael, and you've got a superstar goalie in the making, combining that diving ability, the big hands and the vertical leap.
Gael's favorite sport is pro basketball, where he roots in general for the Detroit Pistons and specifically for Carmelo Anthony. With his wiry frame and explosive first steps, Monfils could be a dynamic two-guard or a swingman in the pros, draining threes or head-pumping defenders and driving in for a nasty dunk.
Heck, even LebBron would say "Dang son, Frenchy can ball!"
The possibilities don't end there. His build could translate into an NFL wide receiver, a fastball-blazing pitcher (we know he's got the arm for it) or one of the longest, leanest golfers on the pro tour.
For now, we'll just have to watch Gael in his chosen sport, and hope he can focus as much on it as his fan base does on him.
Posted to Tennis and stuff. by
Nick on 9/8/2010 3:41:40 PM | with 4 comments
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And you thought college football's rankings were idiotic.
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Hey Kim Clijsters, you just won your second straight US Open, what are you going to do now?
"I'm dropping two spots in the rankings, and being passed up by the two players I just beat to win it!"
That's not hyperbole, that's plain fact. Kim Clijsters defended her crown at the US Open on Saturday, smoking Vera Zvonareva in the final.
For her efforts, stayed at exactly the same point total -- 5,325 -- that she had coming into the tournament, with her 2,000 points won effectively replacing the 2,000 points she lost as the calendar removes them from 52 weeks ago.
Venus Williams, who Clijsters rallied past in the semifinals, improved her standing by 620 points, improving from her fourth-round appearance in 2009. She surged from fifth to third, and is now just over 104 points behind second-place Caroline Wozniacki.
Zvonareva made it to the fourth round last year, then the final this year. Giving her an increase of 1,120 points, allowing her to leap from eighth to four. If she doesn't watch out, Zvonareva is going to become the Buffalo Bills of the WTA - awesome until the biggest game of the year, and then a train wreck when it's all on the line.
I understand how the points system works (I think), but it is fundamentally flawed. Clijsters aboslutely dominated Zvonareva Saturday, and is 2-1 against her this year, and 2-0 agaisnt Venus. Both jumped her in the rankings after losing to her.
The obvious solution is a bonus for winning tournaments, particularly the Grand Slam events. I don't know if it should be 500, 1,000 or some other number, but you have to reward players for defending titles, it's an increasingly rare feat in the ever-evolving world of the professional sport.
The actual rankings haven't been released yet today because the US Open doubles' final has to wrap up - but here's a look at how the new Top 10 appears to be shaping up.
1) Serena Williams, 6,995 pts; 2) Caroline Wozniacki, 5,910 pts; 3) Venus Williams, 5796 pts; 4) Vera Zvonareva, 5,550 pts; 5) Kim Clijsters, 5,325 pts; 6) Jelena Jankovic, 5,205 pts; 7) Samantha Stosur, 4,950 pts; 8) Francesca Schiavone, 4,450 pts; 9) Victoria Radwanska, 3,995 pts; 10) Elena Dementieva, 3,945 pts.
If my math is correct, Na Li will drop from 9th to 12th. The official rankings will be up late today, and we'll touch back on the other big movers and shakers when the numbers are available.
Posted to Tennis and stuff. by
Nick on 9/13/2010 10:27:54 AM | with 1 comments
 To make sure this doesn't sound like the pot calling the kettle black, I freely admit there have been more than a few times when I've typed what I expect is about to happen into a social network field, so I can press send and scoop the rest of the Twitter-verse by miliseconds.
The ATP web site seems to do it to. For a short while today, Novak Djokovic's page on the official tour web site had been updated to show him as the winner of the 2010 US Open over Rafael Nadal, a match which started about 15 minutes ago.
The web site was later corrected, but not before several people grabbed screen shots.
If Djokovic loses today, one wonders if he might buy a 20x30" print of the screenshot to hang on his wall.
Meanwhile, the ATP either made an honest mistake (happens to the best of us), or has access to time travel equipment, and is hogging it.
Posted to Tennis and stuff. by
Nick on 9/13/2010 3:23:25 PM | with 0 comments
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Tennis has been very, very good to him
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Proving he didn't stay out partying all night long, Rafael Nadal popped up on NBC's "The Today Show" this morning, holding onto the US Open Trophy so tightly you'd think the $1.7 million prize money was stashed inside.
A big crowd listens to Rafa wax poetic on competing the Grand Slam while the guy with the big mustache in the front appears to be wondering when this thing is going to be over so he can find a Shipley's Donuts.
Posted to Tennis and stuff. by
Nick on 9/14/2010 2:07:23 PM | with 0 comments
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Seriously, to get to the Chiefs and the Chargers?
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You had to really work if you wanted to watch all of the final between Rafael Nadal and Novak Djokovic.
With rain delays, switched networks and Oprah's final-season premier, the final's broadcast bounced around more than a pre-serve Djokovic ball.
When the match finally concluded, ESPN was minutes away from the all-important Monday Night Football game between Kansas City and San Diego which would help decide who ends up getting slaughtered by the Colts, Ravens or Patriots in the playoffs in four months.
But instead of holding the football game's start a few moments or (perish the thought!) missing the always-tense coin toss and pre-game banter, ESPN cut away from the live trophy presentation while Nadal was still LIFTING THE TROPHY UP!
Apparently a matchup between the squad that couldn't make the Super Bowl if you gave them the keys to the stadium and one which has a 10-38 record over the last three seasons is more attractive than just the seventh man in tennis history notching a career Grand Slam.
It took me back to NBC's legendary "Heidi" game of 1968. In that contest, the Raiders and Jets ran long, threatening the network's prime-time broadcast of the children's movie. With the Jets ahead 32-29 and 65 seconds to play, NBC went to commercial and came back to the opening scene of the movie.
While about 60 zillion people called the network in pure rage, the Raiders scored 14 points in just over a minute to win 43-32. To put icing on the cake, NCS then aired the final score more than 1-1/2 hours later along the bottom of the screen, during a scene when Heidi's cousin falls out of her wheelchair while attempting to walk.
Posted to Tennis and stuff. by
Nick on 9/14/2010 5:13:51 PM | with 2 comments
In nearly every instance, tennis is a game of grace, skill and gamesmanship .
That’s why it’s so jarring when something goes astray on the court. Victoria Azarenka’s sudden collapse on the court due to complications of an earlier concussion was a scary sight at this year’s US Open, but how does it rank against some of tennis’ most shocking moments ever?
A brief countdown of the bizarre and the regrettable from our favorite net sport.
 5. Wimbledon Streaker – Malivai Washington and Richard Krajicek were battling it out in the 1996 Wimbledon Men’s Final when 23-year-old Melissa Johnson sprinted across Centre Court wearing just an apron, which she then lifted for all to see.
Washington and Kraijcek seemed to enjoy the view, as did the Duke of Kent, who Johnson took extra time to flash.
Washington’s quote became immortal, “I saw these things wobbling around and Jees, she smiled at me. Then I got flustered and three sets later I was gone.’
4. Tarango’s wife gets slap happy – Jeff Tarango had already already declared “That’s it, I’m not playing” after umpire Bruno Rebeuh had ruled against him a number of times. He asked that Rebeuh be removed and also yelled at him “You are one of the most corrupt officials in the game and you cannot get away with this.” After telling the crowd to shut up, Rebeuh packed his bags and stormed off court, forfeiting the match. His wife Benedicte, standing by her man in a way that Tammy Wynette would have applauded, walked up to Rebeuh and slapped him twice in the face.
 3. Fan shot by stray bullet at US Open – To be fair to the shooter, this is what you get for holding a major tournament in Queens. And to be even more fair, this took place in 1977 aka the Summer of Sam with pretty much every New Yorker packing heat or pretending they were to ward off the serial killer. In the third round of the tournament, young John McEnroe was taking on Eddie Dibbs in the third round when a commotion disrupted play. The umpire called the players together to tell them someone had been shot, prompting Dibbs to reply “I’m out of here.” To keep the players calm, the ump lied and said “I said someone was in shock.” The match played out, after which the ump admitted that 33-year-old fan James Reilly of New York City had been shot by a stray bullet from a .38 caliber pistol.
 2. Stefan Edberg’s shot leads to linesman’s untimely death – A terrible bit of trivia for Edberg, who went on to win eight Grand Slam titles – six singles and two doubles, and enter the Hall of Fame in 2004. Edberg was in the process of winning the US Open Juniors Tournament in 1983 when one of his shots flew astray and hit linesman Richard Wertheim in the groin. The 60-year-old Wertheim fell backwards, fracturing his skull on the hard court. He died in the hospital a few days later. The incident upset young Edberg to the point that he considered quitting professional tennis altogether, but was able to put the ghosts behind him and become one of his country’s most legendary performers.
1. Monica Seles is stabbed on court – The most shocking incident in tennis history, and one of the scariest scenes in all of professional sports came with Seles at the peak of her game in 1993. During a change over in her match against Magdalena Maleeva in Hamburg, insane Steffi Graf fan Gunter Parche leapt out of the stands to bury a boning knife 0.6 inches deep in between Seles’ shoulder blade while she sat in her chair. The physical injury took weeks to heal, but Seles did not return to the court for more than two years. Parche was charged but never jailed when he was declared “mentally diminished,” with Seles vowing to never play in Germany again.
Posted to Tennis and stuff. by
Nick on 9/15/2010 8:20:41 AM | with 0 comments
In the wake of Rafael Nadal’s win at the US Open that secured him the overall No. 1 ranking for 2010, Sports Illustrated has presented its choices for Top 10 Men’s Tennis Players of All Time.
Despite the recent buzz that Nadal has overtaken Roger Federer for the No. 1 spot, SI isn’t so swayed. Federer is a solid No. 1, with Nadal ranked just fourth on its list of all-time greats. It’s hard to argue the point on Federer, even if Nadal has passed him for current best player alive. Sixteen Grand Slams and 237 straight weeks ranked No. 1 tend to have that effect on people.
Pete Sampras is No. 2 on the list, thanks largely to his 14 Grand Slam titles, including seven at Wimbledon in eight years.
No. 3 is Rod Laver, the only man to win the single-year Grand Slam twice – as an amateur in 1962 and a professional in 1969. Nadal is fourth, having just completed his career Grand Slam, which includes an Olympic gold medal won in 2008.
Bjorn Borg is slated fifth, thanks to 11 Grand Slams in just 10 years, including four straight French Opens, five straight Wimbledons and the claim of being the only man to win both those titles for three straight years.
Sixth on the list is an interesting choice – Pancho Gonzalez – who was huge during the 1950s and early 1960s, and overcame opponents and the tinge of racism as a Latin man in an all-white sport.
American icon Andre Agassi fills in the No. 7 spot, winning eight Grand Slam singles and holding the claim to fame of being the only man to win the “Career Super Slam” – all four Slams, the Olympic gold medal and the ATP World Tour Final.
Thought to be one of the most mentally-tough players ever, Bill Tilden ranks eighth on the list. He won seven US Opens and three Wimbledon crowns during the 1920s, despite losing part of a finger in 1922.
The always-demure John McEnroe ranks ninth on the Top 10, with 16 total (seven singles) Slams in his career, one spot ahead of one of his toughest rivals, Ivan Lendl, who won 10 Slams, appeared in 19 Slam finals and went a ridiculous 1,071-239 (.818) in his career with 144 titles.
What do you think of SI’s Top 10? Who would you have ranked higher or lower? Who do you think deserves to be there that was not included?
Posted to Tennis and stuff. by
Nick on 9/16/2010 2:29:23 PM | with 2 comments
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At 8,700 feet above sea level, that first step is a doozy
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On paper, the US Davis Cup team should have a marked advantage over their opponents from Colombia as the playoff begins Friday.
Of course, “paper” doesn’t factor in playing on red clay in a bull ring located 8,700 feet above sea level.
That will be the task facing Americans Mardy Fish, Sam Querrey, John Isner and Ryan Harrison over the next three days as they fight to stay alive in the World Cup tier.
The United States must win or fall out of the World Cup competition for the first time since 1988. That is a record held concurrently with the Czech Republic and Sweden.
Current Top 20 player Fish will open the tournament by taking on Alejandro Falla, best known for his near-upset of Roger Federer during the first round of this year’s Wimbledon festivities.
Sam Querrey will take the second singles match on Friday, battling Santiago Giraldo. In Saturday’s doubles competition, John Isner and Ryan Harrison will square off against Carlos Salamanca and Robert Farah.
The United States is 3-1 in World Group playoffs, defeating Belgium 4-1 in 2005 in its time in a playoff.
However, it’s no secret that clay is by and large the weakest surface for American players, and playing at such extreme elevation, just two weeks after all four men were breathing comfortably at an elevation of 85 feet in Flushing, New York.
The Americans are hoping for a better outcome than the last time they fought opponents in a bull ring. The United States battled Spain in the famous Las Ventas bull ring in the 2008 Davis Cup semifinal, falling 4-1.
Posted to Tennis and stuff. by
Nick on 9/16/2010 3:21:59 PM | with 0 comments
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As Chazz Michael Michaels once said, "It bottles the mind."
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Posted to Tennis and stuff. by
Nick on 9/20/2010 11:54:10 AM | with 0 comments
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Bulgaria's holding out for a hero
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Because we never get tired of hearing about the next big thing (that’s a joke), feast your eyes on Bulgarian 19-year-old Grigor Dimitrov, who won his second straight ATP Challenger event yesterday, claiming the crown at Bangkok and moving up to No. 146 in the world (a jump of 44 places).
Dimitrov has got the whole story down pat – he first held a racket at three, started playing at five and moved to Paris as a teenager to play at Patrick Mourtaglou’s Tennis Academy.
He also gets compared to Roger Federer a lot. No pressure there, Grigor.
With the win at Bangkok, Dimitrov has won 22 of his last 23 matches. In 2008, he reached the quarterfinals of the juniors at the French Open then won the junior crown at Wimbledon, not dropping a set in the process. He went on to win the junior crown at the US Open before officially turning pro.
In 2009, Dimitrov upset Tomas Berdych in Rotterdam and pushed Rafael Nadal to the brink of elimination before losing 5-7, 6-3, 2-6. He went three sets with Gilles Simon (then No. 8) later that year, but missed a chance to shine at Wimbledon due to a knee injury.
His road has been fairly bumpy in 2010 until lately, when he won the challenger title in Geneva, then following it up at Bangkok. He’s currently the highest-ranked teenager on the ATP Tour.
 If Dimitrov continues on his rise up the rankings, he’ll threaten to eclipse Viktor Krum as the most famous male Bulgarian sportsman of all time. Krum led Bulgaria to the finals of the 1994 Quidditch World Cup, catching the Snitch to end the match even though Ireland won the title.
Posted to Tennis and stuff. by
Nick on 9/20/2010 1:24:25 PM | with 0 comments
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Nadal, del Potro to hit court in Thailand Open
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 Looking a bit like he had stuck his head out the window on the descent, Rafael Nadal and entourage arrived in Bangkok to enjoy a bit of a vacation before the world’s No. 1 player competes In the Thailand Open next week.
It’s been a whirlwind nine days for Nadal since he won the US Open two Sundays ago to complete his career Grand Slam and guarantee himself the No. 1 position in the world for the 2010 season.
Arriving a week early seems the smart thing to make sure and get rest and one’s body clock adjusted. It’s about a 12 hour flight from Spain to Bangkok.
Nadal also announced today that he will play in the Queen’s Club tournament next summer in London. He views it as a necessity to get ready for Wimbledon, having been on the practice courts in England last summer less than 24 hours after winning the French Open.
The Thailand Open will see the return of Juan Martin Del Potro, Nadal’s predecessor as US Open champion. Del Potro has missed the tour since January as he slowly recovers from an injury to his right wrist.
The field is filling out nicely for the 250-point hard-court tournament. Joining Nadal and Del Potro in the field are the likes of Jurgen Melzer, Feliciano Lopez, Ernests Gulbis and Viktor Troicki.
The Thailand Open has been a French-run affair of late, with Gilles Simon winning it in 2009 and Jo-Wilfried Tsonga taking the crown in 2008.
Posted to Tennis and stuff. by
Nick on 9/21/2010 10:02:21 AM | with 0 comments
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Strap on the high-heel Barricades!
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At my house, Monday night kicked off the beginning of the new season of Dancing with the Stars, with my better half rooting for Jersey Shore legend “The Situation” while yours truly is squarely in the corner of Michael Knight himself, David Hasselhoff.
There are two former professional athletes on this season – former NFL quarterback Kurt Warner and former NBA player Rick Fox.
On Monday night, both athletes impressed, even though Warner started from nothing rhythm wise, and Fox had to make up for the fact that he’s 17 inches taller than partner Cheryl Burke.
In all, there have been a whopping 31 athletes or sports people involved in DWTS, but just one tennis player in all that – Monica Seles.
The nine-time Grand Slam winner was paired with Jonathan Roberts in Season Six of the show during the Fall of 2008, and was the second competitor eliminated.
It must have been embarrassing for the all-time great to get booted off a show before the likes of Adam Carolla and Steve Guttenberg. Before she got the heave-ho, tennis fans got to see her dance the Foxtrot to Colbie Caillat’s “Bubbly” and Mambo to En Vogue’s “My Lovin’ (You’re Never Gonna Get It)”.
Why haven’t more tennis aces shown up on the show? Well, the answer is probably two fold.
First, the current players rarely have a break in their schedules, certainly not enough to film a TV show that now runs a full two months from season premiere to grand finale.
Second, and I hate to say it, popularity plays a pretty big role in who wins. As much as we love tennis, the general American public recognizes John O’Hurley (Seinfeld’s immortal Jay Peterman) than it does John Isner, and usually votes according to who's famous.
That’s not going to stop me from giving the ABC producers a piece of my mind on who would do the best on their show, should they decide to delve back into the world of topspin and volleys.
Here then, four ideal choices from the world of tennis to take the world by storm on DWTS.
Fernando Verdasco: Like, duh.
He’s super good looking, he’s tall, he’s got swagger, he likes to have fun, and anytime he screws up a dance, he just pops the shirt off and all the women voters swoon.
Guaranteed Top 5 finish.
 Serena Williams: Something tells me that Serena can cut a rug with that sculpted body of hers.
And based on the number of keyword searches our site gets weekly for “Serena Williams booty,” I’m guessing a few zillion fans would tune in when it’s her week to do the Samba and the Jive.
 Rafael Nadal: I wouldn’t call what Rafa and Shakira were doing in the “Gypsy” video dancing, exactly, although that’s what Moms and Dads might pass it off as the explanation to their kids.
His considerable flair, quick feet and good looks are a great combination to go far.
Anna Kournikova: Because I’m a man, that’s why.
Posted to Tennis and stuff. by
Nick on 9/21/2010 1:27:01 PM | with 0 comments
It was a bit of a slow tennis news day around the office until the word came down that Bob Bryan had asked girlfriend Michelle Alvarez to marry him in Big Sur, and she said yes.
Now it’s always nice when two kids make it official, and hopefully Michelle’s first task as the future Mrs. Bryan will be to tell the boys that the chest bump thing is played out. For goodness sake, you’re 32 years old!
But what really concerns me is poor Mike, who will now be the one-man wolf pack out there, trying to make sense of it all while Bob’s playing house and getting all in the family way.
That’s not good for the No. 1-ranked doubles team, and that’s not good for tennis. Now that they’ve won more titles than any other doubles’ combination in history, there’s only one option left to keep the publicity train going for Bob and Mike.
Double wedding to another pair of twins.
I have no idea if Michelle Alvarez has a twin sister, but if she does, that’s great. Let’s get that girl and Mike out on a double date to the bowling alley, putt-putt golf course or paint-ball enclosure ASAP.
If not, well Michelle, you have to consider the larger picture here. The way to keep America’s eye firmly fixed on the Bryan Brothers is to have them meet, court, engage and marry twin girls, which has the potential for accidental partner swap, the plot line for at least one episode of every American sitcom for the past 30 years.
Clearly, Bob’s going to be a little down if and when he and Michelle have to call it Splitsville, but to alleviate his depression and give Mike a few samples of what lies ahead, our crack staff has compiled a list of potential mates for the Bryans to make their doubles partners for life.
 The Olsen Twins - I know it's a no-brainer, but there aren't too many more famous American twins of a relative close age to the Bry-Bros than Mary-Kate and Ashley. Upside: You don't have to worry about a pre-nup agreement, the two sisters have made money exceeding the gross national product of Ecuador with their stellar direct-to-video kids movies such as "How the West Was Fun" and "You're Invited to Mary-Kate and Ashley's School Dance." Downside: John Stamos is going to try to get his band back together from "Full House" to play your wedding reception.
 The Bush Twins - They haven't been much in the news lately, but I'm guessing Jenna and Barbara are still out there having fun. Granted, Jenna got married in 2008, but two years is a long time for a celebrity to be married, so she's probably ready for a change. Just make sure you ask out the right Barbara when you make that first phone call. Upside: George W. Bush at your wedding reception. Downside: George W. Bush making a toast at your wedding reception.
The Doublemint Gum Twins - They're always in a fantastic mood, they keep in shape riding that bicycle built for two non-stop and they never seem to age. It's a match made in heaven! Upside: Free gum for you and all your friends for the rest of your natural lives. Downside: Frequent trips to the dentist from lockjaw and massive amounts of sugar lead to skyrocketing health care premiums.
 Patty and Selma Bouvier - These confirmed lifelong bachelorettes have just been waiting for the right men to come along. Patty is the younger of the two, and one deterrent to wedded bliss is that she has said at one time or another that she's a lesbian, but she also dated Principal Skinner for a while and has a weird obsession with MacGyver. Whichever Bryan brother lands Selma will have tamed one of them wildest creatures ever put forth in the land of Springfield. Selma's impressive list of conquests includes Sideshow Bob, Troy McClure (you may remember him from such films as "The President's Neck is Missing), Lionel Hutz, Disco Stu, Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Hans Moleman, Barney Gumble, Moe Szyslak and Abraham Simpson. Upside: Once you're in-laws with Homer Simpson, you're never "the dumb one." Downside: The wedding night.
The Coors Light commercial Twins -- I have no idea what their names are, and without YouTube I couldn't have even told you what product they endorsed, but for at least one full football season, there were way too many commercials and drunk guys parodying commercials by yelling "AND TWINS!" These girls are as American as apple pie, just like Mike and Bob, it's a natural fit. Upside: It should be really obvious. Downside: Your wedding ceremony is interrupted 500 times by your drunk friends yelling "AND TWINS!"
Posted to Tennis and stuff. by
Nick on 9/21/2010 4:00:20 PM | with 3 comments
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Peter Griffin's nemesis is ranked No. 4 in the world.
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 Something's always bothered me about Andy Murray.
Until this morning, I never could really tell what it was. Just a little nagging voice in the back of my mind that I had seen him before, and found him disagreeable for one reason or another.
For a long time, I had sought to unwrap this riddle. Did I dislike his inability to win a Grand Slam? Well, maybe a little bit, but that's just about everyone these days not named Rafa or Roger.
Was it his horrific magazine spread in Vogue magazine? Perhaps, but I've already made fun of him for that.
 Is it the fact that he's dating a woman so far out of his league that I need to reference Samuel Jackson from "Pulp Fiction" when he tells John Travolta. "It ain't the same fu**ing ballpark. It ain't the same league, it ain't even the same fu**ing sport!"
Seriously, an unattractive man hasn't dated this far out of his range since Bobcat Goldwaithe got engaged to Nikki Cox. It was when I saw the above photo of Murray and his girl at the Burberry Fashion Show that it finally clicked in my head where I knew him from.
Andy Murray was on "Family Guy" once as Englishman Nigel Pinchley" the self-proclaimed "limey bastard" who buys Peter Griffin's favorite bar and burns it to the ground for insurance purposes.
Through the magic of 45 seconds of Photoshop use, I have made this side-by-side photo comparison of Pinchley and Murray. Same bad teeth, same scruffy hair cut, same lifeless eyes.
And same number of Grand Slam titles.
Posted to Tennis and stuff. by
Nick on 9/22/2010 9:00:11 AM | with 0 comments
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Sooooo many missed opportunities
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Even though Maria Sharapova is one of the richest athletes in the world when it comes to advertising dollars, and Roger Federer, Rafael Nadal and the Williams sisters pop up on television on a fairly regular basis, I’ve come to the realization that companies aren’t giving the full effort to tennis stars when it comes to product placement.
I drew this conclusion while raiding my medicine cabinet this morning for something to combat the head cold I’ve been hacking up around the office all  week. When I finally found a suitable weapon against the common cold, inspiration struck and I found myself wondering why I am able to see the incredible marketing opportunity that has thus far eluded the good people at Johnson & Johnson and Pfizer.
I’m talking about the greatest advertising coup I’ve come up with since I dreamed up former New York Met third baseman Howard Johnson doing a series of ads for another hotel chain (Dream punch line: That’s why even Howard Johnson stays at La Quinta).
I'm taking about a new product from a reliable name that clears up the sinus cavities for athletic competitors endorsed by everyone’s favorite Grand Slam Champion. I present to you:
 Suda-Fed.
How is it possible that it took until 2010 to come up with this gold mine? I don’t even have a degree in marketing or advertising, and here I am setting the world on its ear with the idea of a stuffy-nosed Roger struggling against Novak Djokovic for a set, coming off court, popping a couple of pills, giving a look of amazement at his cleared airways and returning to give the Djoker a royal thrashing.
I was particularly pleased with myself after concocting this idea, and I decided there was more territory to cover.
 Let’s say you’ve carved out a pretty strong niche as a Top 25 men’s player. But every time you look at the draw and realize you’re going to face one of the Top 10 competitors in the world, you start to get that queasy feeling in your stomach. You aren’t going to withdraw from the tournament, but you’d rather not have to rush to the bathroom during the change over, so pick up a box of Jurgen Melzer’s Alka-Melzer. You’ll still lose to Rafa, Fed or A-Rod, but at least you won’t lose your lunch in the process!
 All cars break down eventually if they aren’t properly cared for. The same thing can be said of Ivan Ljubicic, who was ranked as high as No. 3 in the world in 2006, only to fall back as low as 79th in 2009 before regaining his Top 20 form. Take a page from Ivan and take your car in for a total recall at the hottest transmission and automobile system overhaul –
Jiffy Ljube.
Posted to Tennis and stuff. by
Nick on 9/23/2010 1:51:25 PM | with 0 comments
Whether it’s her foot or some remnants of plastic surgery / social jet-setting hangover that are keeping Serena Williams off the competitive court these days, things are going to get mighty interesting on the women’s tour if she continued to be a no-show this fall.
Still leading the race to No. 1 by just more than 1,000 points over Caroline Wozniacki, Williams won’t lose ground by missing the Tokyo Pan Pacific next week; she didn’t play in it last year either.
But Wozniacki, Venus Williams and Vera Zvonareva, the three players immediately trailing her in the rankings, all lost in the first round there last year, meaning each can add some significant points to her total next week.
The Premiere event offers 470 points to the winner and 320 to the runner-up. Add 469 points to Wozniacki’s total, and suddenly she’s just 616 behind Williams for No. 1.
Once Tokyo’s done, Beijing begins with 1,000 points bestowed upon the big winner. If Serena’s not ready to go, she’ll be out the 140 points she gained there in 2009.
Again, Wozniacki and Venus fared poorly there in 2009. Wozniacki lost in the first round for a whopping five points, Venus in the second for 80.
If both do well in Tokyo and Beijing and Serena withdraws, she could find herself needing to call Roger Federer for “Why Am I Suddenly No. 3?” support.
Zvonareva’s has 250 points to defend in Beijing and 60 in Moscow. But she was a first-round loser at the Tour Championships last year, meaning she only gained 70 points. If she can regain the magic that saw her make the finals of the US Open and Wimbledon, she can become a serious contender for the No. 1 spot in the world.
Meanwhile Kim Clijsters, now No. 5 despite winning the US Open, has nothing to lose at Beijing, having sat out there in 2009. A win there in two weeks could have Clijsters also knocking on Serena’s door. Clijsters only played in one tournament down the stretch last year, a 30-point effort at Luxembourg. If she goes deep at Beijing and again at the Tour Championships in Doha, she’ll zoom up the charts.
If Serena doesn’t make Beijing, but does return for Doha, she’ll have to pull a rabbit out of her hat to keep from losing points. Serena won the championship there in 2009, meaning she’s got 1,500 points on the line.
A breakdown of the Top 5 players
Serena Williams: Current Points – 6,995; 2009 Points to Defend: Beijing - 140; Tour Championships - 1,500; 2010 Remaining Schedule (tentative) – Beijing, Tour Championships.
Caroline Wozniacki: Current Points – 5,910; 2009 Points to Defend: Tokyo - 1; Beijing - 5; Osaka - 130; Luxembourg - 1; Tour Championships - 530; 2010 Remaining Schedule (tentative) – Tokyo, Beijing, Tour Championships.
Venus Williams: Current Points – 5,796; 2009 Points to Defend: Tokyo – 1; Beijing – 80; Tour Championships - 730; 2010 Remaining Schedule (tentative) – Tokyo, Beijing, Tour Championships.
Vera Zvonareva: Current Points – 5,550; 2009 Points to Defend: Tokyo – 1; Beijing – 250; Moscow – 60; Tour Championships – 70; 2010 Remaining Schedule (tentative) – Tokyo, Beijing, Tour Championships.
Kim Clijsters: Current Points – 5,325; 2009 Points to Defend: Luxembourg – 30; Remaining Schedule (tentative) – Beijing, Tour Championships.
Posted to Tennis and stuff. by
Nick on 9/23/2010 4:53:51 PM | with 1 comments
Posted to Tennis and stuff. by
Nick on 9/24/2010 4:11:16 PM | with 0 comments
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Overactive imagination or pathological liar?
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The French version of Tennis Magazine has posted excerpts from a recent interview with Toni Nadal, uncle and coach of Rafael Nadal that speak of an over-active imagination on the older Spaniard’s part.
“Rafa was the little boy in the family and everybody always had so much with him,” Toni Nadal said.
“As a joke, I made him believe all sorts of things: that I was a star at AC Milan, that I had won the Tour de France five times with a moped. Indeed, I also told him that I had magical powers.”
The interview continues with Toni Nadal telling of how when Rafael was seven or eight and had been entered into a team event with 12-year-olds. Toni told Rafael that if the match went badly, he would use his “magic powers” to make it rain.
Sure enough it started raining, but young Rafael was feeling confident, saying to his uncle “It’s all right, you make it stop now, I’m going to win.”
In another instance, Toni was watching the replay of a match where Ivan Lendl retired. Rafael didn’t know it was a replay or what would happen, so Toni boldly claimed that he would “make Lendl lose” an instant before it actually happened.
According to many critics and web sites, Toni also has the “magic power” to coach Rafael from the crowd without getting the player in trouble. In a story posted on ubitennis.com, the interviewer asked why he was looking to his bench during the last game of his US Open triumph over Novak Djokovic.
Nadal responded: “It was in the last game, when I was serving for the match . . . I didn't know where to serve. Down the center, to the middle or to try the classic play of the wide serve and then try to hit the forehand. They told me to serve wide and that's where I serve.”
In 2006, Roger Federer complained that Toni was advising Rafael from the stands during a match, and Rafael was fined $2,000 at Wimbledon this year for getting coaching from Toni during a match.
Posted to Tennis and stuff. by
Nick on 9/27/2010 1:53:56 PM | with 0 comments
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Because if there's one thing Rafa needs, it's a little more good luck
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 Today’s cool photo from the other side of the world presents Rafael Nadal in a pose quite a few of his victims, er, opponents have become familiar with over the years: praying.
Nadal, who begins play this week in the Thailand Open, visited Buddhist monks on a beach and knelt with them in prayer before presenting an offering of food.
Nadal made sure to wear his Nike gear, in case any of the Buddhist monks are interested in upgrading their robes to a sportier model.
It was an interesting setting for Nadal, who touched a few nerves with his post-Wimbledon interview with Sports Illustrated in which he said of his religious beliefs: “I would love to know if God exists. But it’s a very difficult thing for me to believe. I don’t know.” He went on to say that his belief was a private matter.
Nadal will not begin play in the Thailand Open until at least Wednesday.
Posted to Tennis and stuff. by
Nick on 9/27/2010 2:31:33 PM | with 0 comments
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Two crazy kids falling in love at the Olympics
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 Ten years ago Monday, Roger Federer was a 19-year-old Swiss tennis player ranked 36th in the world.
He was in the final few months of a very nice year on the ATP tour, having upset No. 4 Nicolas Kiefer at the Queen’s Club and reached the fourth round of the French Open.
At the 2000 Summer Olympics in Sydney, Federer fought his way to the semifinals before falling to American Tommy Haas. His time on the court ended in disappointment as he lost the bronze medal match to France’s Arnaud Di Pasquale, a player who had peaked at No. 39 earlier that year.
But even the disappointment of missing out on a medal didn’t deter the young Swiss from thoroughly enjoying the experience of the Olympic village, where he shared living quarters and dining halls with his fellow countryman, themselves the elite in every sport across the board.
Things were even better when he met 22-year-old Mirkoslava “Mirka” Vavrinec, herself a member of the Swiss women’s tennis contingency.
In the funny way that fate intervenes some times, Vavrinec received a wild card to the Olympics by fighting her way back into the Top 100 that year. She had suffered mightily from a heel injury that saw her plummet out of the top 300 in the span between 1997 and 1999.
She didn’t have much success in Sydney, falling to 10th-seeded Elena Dementieva in the first round. While Mirka faltered early, Federer flourished and eventually let her on to the fact that his friendship with her had become something entirely more.
Of course, getting back to the “real world” of the professional tour put an immediate damper on the burgeoning relationship. Two weeks after the Olympics ended,Vavrinec was playing in Japan, Federer in Vienna. While he was reaching the finals in Basel, she was still in Shanghai. When she reached the semifinals in Pittsburgh in early November, he was falling in the second round at Lyon.
It wasn’t until three months after the Olympics that the pair was actually playing on the same continent at the same time – with Federer in Paris and Vavrinec in Naples.
Eventually, the word got out that the pair were dating, and they became the buzz of Switzerland, despite their attempts to keep things under wraps. Vavrinec ended 2000 ranked 88th in the world, Federer 29th.
Vavrinec struggled to move up in 2001, not reaching the third round of a tournament until the US Open.
Federer’s game improved by leaps and bounds as he won at Milan, reached the quarterfinals at Roland Garros and Wimbledon and the fourth round of the US Open, where he lost to Andre Agassi.
Vavrinec was ranked 76th on Sept. 10, but a torn ligament in her right foot plagued her, eventually forcing her to retire at age 24.
Federer, of course, would reach heights unreached by any other man in tennis in the years to come. He ended 2001 at No. 13, entered the Top 10 for the first time in May of 2002, and has remained there permanently since that October, winning an astonishing 16 Grand Slam titles since.
Although they remained together the entire time, it wasn’t until April 11, 2009, that Vavrinec and Federer exchanged vows in Basel. The couple’s twin daughters Charlene Riva and Myla Rose were born three months later.
Posted to Tennis and stuff. by
Nick on 9/27/2010 4:25:08 PM | with 0 comments
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Rant starting in 3 .. 2 .. 1
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I didn't watch Serena Williams on Oprah Winfrey's show Monday for a couple of reasons: 1) I have a job that I go to during the day and 2) I'd like to keep my streak alive of having never watching an episode of "The Oprah Winfrey Show."
Not to mention that the Internet means you never actually miss anything.
So I checked out the highlights today online, and as a few sarcastic clowns said about our Oscar-nominated US Open Fan Fight video, "There's 5 minutes of my life I won't get back."
It wasn't so much the non-stop lobbing of softball questions that Oprah tossed Serena's way, it was the whole environment that really irked me. Serena gives Oprah the most-highly anticipated pedicure since Harry and Lloyd go to the ball in "Dumb and Dumber" while pretending to be hanging out at The Spa at Harpo.
Oprah arrives with a magazine in tote, you know in case she gets bored during the pedicure ... that's with a guest on her show. And what title pray tell is she holding for such an event? Why, it's a copy of the Oprah Winfrey magazine!
Because let's be honest, Oprah needs more exposure for her products, since the only outlets she has are a daily TV show that has run for 24 years, her own cable television network, her own radio station and of course, said magazine.
And although Oprah's usually the one giving out advice, in the future I hope she'll take a little of mine. When you decide to allow someone to use a variety of cutting implements on your bare feet, try to avoid it being a person who can't avoid a giant shard of glass in a parking lot while wearing flip flops.
 A link to the footage, since Empress O decrees no embedding of videos. I apologize in advance for the 20-second Oprah commercial you have to watch to get to the video. It's of Oprah and her audience screaming and going crazy about various announcements. Played on mute, it's tough to tell if the audience has just won new cars or if two velociraptors have been released into the studio based on the hysteria from their body language.
If the Serena video doesn't put you to sleep, you can click ahead to the one labelled "Angie Harmon Visits the Morgue." I can only assume she's looking for her career in there.
Posted to Tennis and stuff. by
Nick on 9/28/2010 9:31:20 AM | with 1 comments
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Will the Judges Please Reveal Their Scores?
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Posted to Tennis and stuff. by
Nick on 9/28/2010 3:08:27 PM | with 1 comments
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The title at the Metz becomes quite secondary
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 September of 2010 was the month that France’s Gilles Simon ended his 51-week slump without a title by winning the Metz Open.
He’ll never, ever remember it for that reason. Check out these great photos of Simon meeting his son Timothee for the first time.
Timothee was born four weeks early on Sept. 2, while Simon was competing in the US Open. His girlfriend Carine Lauret gave birth to the baby boy, and as you can see for yourself, Gilles is already in love with the new edition to the family.
A former Top 10 player, Simon moved up eight spots in the ATP rankings to No. 33 with the title at Metz.
Posted to Tennis and stuff. by
Nick on 9/28/2010 3:39:24 PM | with 0 comments
Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the US Open, fighting legend Joseph Pedevill is back in trouble with the law.
Pedevill, the young man involved in the US Open brawl last month, violated the terms of a restraining order that neighbor Peter Scheider had out on him after Scheider was quoted in the New York Post.
In the article, Scheider called Pedevill “an insane nut” for his actions which included a verbal dispute with a 75-year old man and his daughter in the crowd.
A few days after the article was published, Scheider claims Pedevill confronted him outside their apartment building and screamed, “You f- -king a- -hole! You are going to get it. You are going to see what is going to happen to you. I am going to kill you”
All three of the combatants are banned from attending the US Open for two years.
Posted to Tennis and stuff. by
Nick on 9/29/2010 12:27:38 PM | with 0 comments
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