Why Are The Women of Tennis So Ugly?

And really, it seems quite odd. Tennis is fairly athletic sport, so wouldn’t you expect the women to be fit? And tennis is an international, upper-class sport, so you’d think that these women could have some sort of medical treatments for all of their ailments. But no, all the women are horribly deformed, growing full beards, with massive cankles and alopecia.
 

So maybe some of you all reading this can tell attractive women that you know to go out and play tennis, because right now I’m pretty grossed out with the WTA and have to watch the ATP. I really used to like women’s tennis – watching Steffi Graf and Billie Jean King and all those greats. Now, though, tennis is just filled with behemoth monsters with snaggle teeth and hunch backs and extra toes and no eyebrows and ears dripping with wax and crusty eyes and all sorts of undiagnosed giant moles. 
 

Needless to say, I can’t watch this stuff anymore! It’s like watching two asylumed brutes, two completely deplorable and vile things, grunting and sweating out who knows what, nearly killing themselves with tight fitting clothing and embarrassing not only themselves, but every single decent human being who lies an eye on such filth.
 

But don’t Caroline Wozniacki and Maria Sharapova and Serena Williams and Ana Ivanovic play tennis? Oh, wait! Tennis? No, no, I meant women’s basketball. Totally wrong sport. Woops!