The guy from Ace of Cakes made a cake for the US Open. I could stop right there and you would know everything there is to know about that, but I won’t. Instead, I’ll go on to tell you about the history of Ace of Cakes, hypothesize about why the guy from Ace of Cakes would make a cake for the US Open, and even more importantly, why I’m writing this. I can answer that last one right now, actually. I’m writing this because I know you’ll read this. Ace of Cakes is one of the highest rated reality food TV shows (while the Stanley Cup was on in 2008, the show had higher ratings) and has been on for something like 8 seasons. If I were a cake maker, I’d be like, “Yo, Food Network, let me do a television show on wacky cakes that I make and the trials and tribulations of making them.” And they should say, “Uhh, no,” but they would of course say, “This is start of something great – YES!” And then I would do the TV show for a season or two until I got tired of making cakes, got tired of being silly on TV, got tired of having cameras follow me around at work, got tired of people recognizing me on the street for being “the guy who makes cakes”, got tired of creating non-existent drama in a kitchen with a bunch of my friends, or something else. Either way, I’d probably get pretty sick of it after a year or two. But then again, I’m not getting thrown piles and piles of money to make cakes and act silly and create fake drama and become a real life star.
No, no I am not.
Come to think of it, I would probably do a lot of things to make piles and piles of money. Not anything, you know, but a lot of things. I would let Rafael Nadal hit me with a tennis ball SUPER hard, if I was paid something to the order of a few thousand dollars. I would not look at Caroline Wozniacki walking by if someone paid something like a few hundred dollars. I would talk to Andy Murray and act like he isn’t a baby if someone paid me several hundred thousand dollars (or pounds). But that’s me.
And back to cakes. As I promised, here is a little bit of history on the Ace of Cakes television show – Starting in 2006, the Ace of Cakes television show is a show about the cake bakery, Charm City Cakes, from Baltimore, Maryland. The show’s star and bakery’s head baker, Duff Goldman, creates unique cakes usually through unique processes. What does that mean exactly? Well, watch the show and find out: Tuesdays and Thursday 10/9c and 10:30/9:30c!! But I can tell you what that means. It means that they make cakes for specific places and events, recreating thing that traditional cake makers told you were impossible. Additionally, they use nontraditional tools to make them: saws, fires, and power tools. And in all seriousness, I can just list some of the more interesting cakes that they have right here: bagel cake, Yoda cake, calculator cake, sneaker cake, popcorn cake, sewing machine cake, camera cake, Tibetan monastery cake, rib rack cake, fire truck cake, iPhone cake, heart and pacemaker cake, Pacman cake, Hubble telescope cake, Lost (the TV show) cake, Kung Fu Panda cake, and our nearest and dearest US Open cake. That’s a lot of cakes.
But do the great cake-makers on the Ace of Cakes really tennis? No, probably not. A lot of people watch tennis and they knew that not only would this go over well on their television show, but a bunch of people who were watching tennis would want to watch their show/eat their cakes. And how much is a cake from this place, anyways? According to their website, the minimum price for a cake is $1,000. Minimum.
All I’m saying is, “Tennis, let’s watch our weight here, okay?”