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We thought we had seen the man of our dreams. He was tall, well-dressed, and—best of all!!—a die-hard tennis fan. But when we saw the man of our dreams on Eurosport, fighting off kids for one of Svetlana Kuznetsova’s sweat-soaked towels after the Russian’s match with Lucie Safarova, we realized that the man wasn’t who we thought he was. No, he was a strange, towel-grabbing man. He was mean to kids, and he really didn’t like tennis at all—he just liked sweaty towels.

We are so over this man, and we never want to see him again.

Is he worse than the woman in the video below, who rudely swiped Novak Djokovic's towel from a kid after the Australian Open final? Well, let’s just say that these two deserve each other.

(Note to souvenir hungry fans: Don’t fight over towels. The rule is: the article goes to the person to whom it was thrown. If you have to reach across somebody’s body to grab said towel, you are rude, inconsiderate, and in violation of the etiquette.)